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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27439537">Warmer than a Thousand Suns</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VonPelt/pseuds/VonPelt'>VonPelt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, F/M, Fade to Black, From Sex to Love, Past Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley, Post-Break Up, Rebound Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:01:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27439537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VonPelt/pseuds/VonPelt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was not a smart idea, nor a good one. In fact, as far as ideas went, it was outright insane. But for once Harry didn't care, her embrace was addictive and he needed to feel her arms around him once more. She had awoken something inside of him, a longing he could not have comprehended before.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter &amp; Nymphadora Tonks, Hermione Granger &amp; Harry Potter, Lavender Brown/Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellaStarMagic/gifts">StellaStarMagic</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaskeHD/gifts">WaskeHD</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Looking back, Harry could claim that neither the love potion nor the poisoned mead were the most unexpected event of that cursed day. All he really wanted to do after Madam Pomfrey had thrown him out of the hospital wing was to track down Malfoy. Harry wanted to apply the lesson Bellatrix Lestrange had taught him in the Ministry and show the inbred bastard why he should have dealt with him first rather than going after Ron and Katie. He knew that he had to mean it, but after seeing his best friend convulsing on the floor, almost taking his last breath, he would mean it. After all, he knew who was to blame. First for Katie, and now Ron.</p><p>Unlike after Sirius died, this time Harry had time to process what had happened. He had seen Ron grasping his throat as his face turned blue and then black as the poison spread through his blood, the scene replaying again and again in his mind. His hate wasn't an explosion of rage but rather a flame which burned fiercely. He knew that this time, he would be able to perform the Cruciatus flawlessly and take delight from seeing Malfoy wither on the floor as Ron had. The sun was already approaching the mountains outside, but the blonde bastard would pay before the day was over.</p><p>However, before he had left the second floor and could avenge the unsuccessful assassination attempt, he heard muffled sobbing from a classroom down the corridor. At first, Harry intended to just ignore it, but he had to get past the noise to get to the staircase.</p><p>Halfway down the corridor, he could make out that the crying person was a girl and by the time he had reached the door, Harry could no longer pretend that it didn't bother him. Yet it wasn't until he peeked into the room that he realised there was really only one person who would be crying two corners from the hospital wing.</p><p>This was not the first time he had seen Lavender cry, far from it, but there was a certain misery to her sobbing which was new and made something inside of him twist and clench. She wasn't supposed to be like this.</p><p>Lavender was the quintessence of happiness, quick to smile, laugh, chuckle, giggle and snicker. Her cheerfulness had become sort of background noise in the common room and the Great Hall, especially once she started going out with Ron and Harry noticed her more often.</p><p>Seeing her curled up alone in a small classroom, her arms around her shins and her makeup smeared across her puffy eyes and red cheeks - he might not know her very well, but she had been in the DA the previous year and he could not remember a single time when she had been mean to him. He ought to do something, the sooner the better. He owed her that much. After all, he could always send Malfoy to the permanent spell damage ward later.</p><p>"Are you ok? Wait, stupid question - " Harry trailed off before he could his foot into his mouth even more. Yet Lavender threw him a watery smile.</p><p>"If you've come to apologise for <em>your friend</em> and ask me to reconsider, save yourself the words. If <em>he</em> cannot be bothered to do his own grovelling - "</p><p>"I don't think that Ron will be going anywhere for a while. Nor do I think that he will come back on his knees after Pomfrey lets him go."</p><p>"So he doesn't even care. I should have expected that much after he ignored me in the hospital wing, but - "</p><p>"I don't think that Ron was in the right state to think, let alone think clearly," Harry objected, trying to defend his friend even if it meant omitting that Ron had wanted to get out of their relationship since Christmas. After all, he had already put his foot in his mouth twice so he owed him some damage control.</p><p>"Oh, he was well enough to recognise Hermione, wasn't he? You saw how happy he was to see her? How his eyes lit up and - " Lavender sniffled. "He didn't even look at me, he didn't care. Did he <em>ever</em> care?"</p><p>"Look Lavender," Harry evaded. He really didn't want to bollock things up for Ron even further. "If you're questioning that, then what you have with Ron isn't going to work out. I think - well - I think you want more out of the relationship than he ever did."</p><p>Unfortunately, Harry's evasion had the opposite of his desired effect, and it set Lavender off again.</p><p>"Then why did he-" she began, tears starting to appear on her cheeks as her voice hitched. "Why did he start it? Did he just want to hurt me?" Harry could hear the despair in her voice and it pained him to listen to it.</p><p>"No, no, of course not," Harry defended his friend, "Ron's not like that, he wouldn't do that on purpose. He may be a little - <em>insensitive</em> - at times, but he's not malicious. I think he just got a little caught up in the moment after winning that game and there was no way he could tell how you two - "</p><p>"Winning the - Do you mean - " Lavender trailed off, her face an ugly scowl as she thought through what Harry had said and came to the same conclusion. "But that was more than four months ago!"</p><p>"Well, if you put it this way - " he trailed off, dragging a hand through his hair. This was not the conclusion he had wanted her to reach. This whole conversation was not going how it was supposed to.</p><p>"So our entire relationship has been nothing to him? Nothing but a lie?"</p><p>"I think that's a question you need to ask Ron - "</p><p>"Why do you think that I would ever want to talk to <em>him</em> again after - "</p><p>Lavender started with dripping venom but her voice cracked and then the dam broke. And just like the last time he had been face-to-face with a crying girl, Harry didn't have a bloody clue on what to do. At least this time, her ex wasn't dead and she wasn't about to kiss him.</p><p>Hesitantly, he put a hand on Lavender's shoulder, but apparently, that was all it took. Faster than Harry could blink, she had latched onto his arm and practically burrowed herself in the crook of his neck. Soon enough, her tears were running down his skin, feeling burning hot and ice cold at the same time. At first, Harry was slightly annoyed because he had places to be and Death Eaters to take care of, but the longer he stood there being hugged by and trying to comfort Lavender, the less he could focus on introducing Malfoy to all kinds of nasty curses. He couldn't even remember which one was annotated <em>for enemies </em>in his potions book.</p><p>Now, Harry was the first to admit that he was shy around girls, but he wasn't blind. At 5'5", Lavender was simply too short to radiate the kind of cool, flawless beauty Fleur oozed. Or the sheer strength Angelina personified with muscles bigger than his own. But the way Lavender's wavy blonde hair fell down her face, the little baby fat which was still left there, the pale blue eyes below delicate eyebrows and her warm smile made her look impossibly cute.</p><p>And since she had spent a lot of time with Ron, he had seen a lot more of her this year than the 5 before. Which had led to thoughts no one was supposed to have about their friend's girlfriend, and only Ron's dismissal of her made him feel less guilty. Those thoughts, previous banished to a dark corner of his mind, now returned in full force. And they chose the worst possible moment to do so. She needed support right now, not someone thinking about copping a feel or how she would look like naked.</p>
<hr/><p>"This is nice," Lavender mumbled after a few minutes, her voice firm but quiet. She was no longer crying but showed no intention of even loosening her hold of him, nevermind letting go completely. Her only movement was leaning into his touch, wanting as much contact with the hand rubbing circles into her back.</p><p>Harry felt awful, but having Lavender tightly wrapped around him caused all kinds of thoughts not appropriate for the situation, or his best friend's ex-girlfriend. But he was also quite sure that no one could have stopped those thoughts in his position. Not with her soft hair brushing against his cheek, her fruity scent in his nose and her breath tickling his neck, which made shivers run across his back and left shoulder. He could also feel the warmth radiating from her, and the way her breasts were squeezed against his chest was even more distracting than the tingles on his shoulder blade.</p><p>"Glad that I could be of service," Harry managed to get out past the knot in his throat, his voice little more than a croak.</p><p>"No really, you didn't have to," Lavender insisted and brushed a strand of her hair from her face. Before Harry could process the odd feeling of loss, her arm snaked itself around him again. "It was the stupid names, wasn't it? And the necklace, and the attention, and the way I - "</p><p>"Stop - Lavender! Won-Won wasn't great, but do you have any idea how envious I was of Ron whenever I saw you two together?"</p><p>"Really?" she asked with narrowed eyes, her voice dripping disbelief.</p><p>"You remember how awfully my relationship with Cho ended, right? And I can't claim that things had worked out for me since then in that regard, either. Since then, before that, during - But then I saw you with Ron, saw how open you were with your affection - There was no need for guessing how you felt or what you were thinking. The way you openly showed so much affection - I hope to find someone like you eventually. At least as long as she won't call me Har-Har."</p><p>"That would be silly," Lavender admitted with a small smile. "But you really would want someone like me as your girlfriend?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"And what about me?" she wanted to know, her voice barely above a whisper.</p><p>They both fell silent as their eyes locked, a brief look became a long stare. Time seemingly stood still and Harry did not dare to blink as there suddenly was a heavy tension between them. He still had an arm around her back and there were only a few inches between their faces. Perhaps if he did not feel her warmth all over his body, Harry might have come up with a rational reply, but most of mind was focused on how nice she felt against his chest, how their legs brushed against each other, how her fruity scent was suddenly the only thing he could smell.</p><p>His heart hammered like a marching drum as he took in every detail of her pale, blue eyes, which in the dim light looked almost grey. How her delicate eyebrows were slightly narrowed, how the tip of her nose curved upwards just a tiny bit, how she came closer -</p><p>His thoughts were cut off when he felt her lips on his. Lavender seemed in no mood to waste time because almost immediately, she slipped one hand down to knead his ass while the other snaked itself up around the back of his neck to pull him closer to her.</p><p>Harry was stunned and the blissful blankness of his mind did not help, but eventually, he managed to string a few thoughts together and kiss back with equal vigour. But even with a semblance of rationality restored, he did not dare to move his own hands anywhere other than her back.</p><p>Lavender on the other hand seemingly tried to map every inch of him. She also did her best to ensure that his hair could never be straightened out again, although given the tingles her nails caused on his scalp, he didn't mind at all.</p><p>Harry quickly found out that his skin was a lot more sensitive than he would have expected as Lavender first trailed kisses along his jaw and then down his neck, leaving tingles in her wake. And although he would never publicly admit it, the whimper which escaped him when she planted a hickey on his throat was less than manly.</p>
<hr/><p>Absentmindedly, Harry noted that it was now pitch black outside as night had fallen outside. A torch near the door was the only source of light. Judging by the thick layer of dust and the cobwebs, it had been years since that classroom had seen a living soul.</p><p>And while he had grown bolder as time flew by, this was still the first time he had gotten far enough to cop a feel. Lavender, however, was completely unaware of the inner battle he had waged to build up the necessary courage and her only response was to lean into his touch. This led to an awkward angle for his wrist, but once he had dared to go this far, Harry wasn't about to let a little discomfort stop his exploration.</p><p>Eventually, Lavender moved things along when she pushed Harry back against a table and jumped into his arms, leaving him no other choice but to put his hands on her bottom. Taking it as permission, Harry finally did what he had not dared before.</p><p>Surprised, she broke the kiss and for a moment, Harry was worried that he had overstepped some kind of boundary, but her musical laugh quickly convinced him otherwise.</p><p>Seeing this as a cue to move ahead, Harry pulled her tightly against himself in a desperate search for more contact, more friction and groped what he was already cupping. From there on, her deep moans only added more oil to the fire.</p><p>Panting heavily, Lavender pulled back the fraction of an inch, looking up to him with a dangerous glint in her eyes. She was still close enough that he could feel the heaving of her chest, the movement of her lips against his.</p><p>"I want you, Harry."</p>
<hr/><p>Had he been able to think straight, Harry might have come up with a long list of logical reasons why that was a bad idea. And indeed a small voice valiantly tried to remind him that this, until a few hours ago, had been Ron's girlfriend and that his best friend might not even have noticed that he had been dumped.</p><p>However, since he had spent the past hour making out with one of the most gorgeous witches he knew and his previous experience was limited to a few disastrous rendezvous with Cho and many lonely nights thinking about everyone from Ginny to Hermione and going as far as Pansy Parkinson, all he managed to choke out was, "We really shouldn't - "</p><p>"Says who?"</p><p>"Well - isn't this a bit fast?"</p><p>"Harry, my last relationship lasted four months and apparently, we did not know each other at all."</p><p>"Ron said that you didn't talk much - " he blurted out when a memory flashed by, barely able to shut up the next sentence.</p><p>"We did talk - but it wasn't deep conversation. Just about our days and such, which was a nice change from all the doom and gloom since <em>his</em> return. <em>Your friend</em> was, well an anchor, but I had hoped that over time we would develop a more meaningful connection."</p><p>With some concern, Harry noted that Ron and Voldemort got the same amount of disdain. And that she made equally sure not to say either of their names. But before he could think further on the matter, Lavender continued in a husky whisper.</p><p>"I mean it, I want you, Harry."</p><p>The first time had already stunned him, but her purring voice now did things to his imagination and self-control he would not have thought possible. He could throw off Voldemort's Imperius curse, yet did not find the strength to deny her, or maybe the will. He shivered and barely managed to find an excuse while a significant part of him wanted to just say screw it all and screw Lavender.</p><p>"Do you really want your first time to be in some dusty classroom - "</p><p>Harry was cut off by Lavender's derisive huff.</p><p>"This won't be my first time or even my hundredth."</p><p>"But I thought - "</p><p>"Oh <em>your friend</em> never got this far, but I had a boyfriend for most of our fifth year, and even with Umbridge at her worst, it was not difficult to find a secluded spot." She paused a moment to tap her chin. "Perhaps it should have been a clue that I never felt comfortable to do <em>this</em> with <em>your friend</em>."</p><p>"But you are comfortable enough with me?"</p><p>"Oh, I was very comfortable with you just a minute ago," Lavender pointed out and pulled Harry into another kiss to prove her point. "You have done this before, right?"</p><p>"Well - "</p><p>"Oh - Oooohhhh, now I understand. Of course, you wouldn't want your first time to be in such a place - "</p><p>"To be honest, I never thought about the location. It just feels like I'm taking advantage of you and - "</p><p>He was cut off by another unladylike snort followed by another lingering kiss on his lips. "Oh, you are not taking advantage of me. I know very well what I am doing right now. But perhaps I can convince you without words."</p><p>For a moment, Harry was alarmed when Lavender drew her wand but immediately relaxed when he remembered that this was his pink-loving classmate, not a disguised Death Eater. The day certainly had taken a toll on his nerves.</p><p>"You were right, this room won't do at all."</p><p>He relaxed even further when she started to alter the room and lost herself in decorations, seemingly having forgotten her previous train of thought. Seeing Lavender slowly change the room was closer to how he knew her, with fluffy pillows and warm colours which turned the abandoned chamber into a mixture of how he imagined her room looked like and the Gryffindor common room.</p><p>It wasn't until colourful candles were magically lit that it dawned on Harry that perhaps she had not forgotten what she had been thinking about. In his aroused stupor, he dimly registered that they were vanilla-scented when Lavender reached behind herself and, in a motion so smooth that it had to be practised, pulled off her jumper.</p><p>Harry tried to say anything, but his voice failed him completely, his eyes glued to the simple red bra now on display. Before he could recover from the shock, Lavender had already stepped out of her trousers and revealed that her knickers matched the top.</p><p>When she noticed his reaction, a satisfied grin appeared on her face, which then became wider. Slowly, Lavender spun left while maintaining eye contact.</p><p>"Like what you see?"</p><p>"I - wow - you - " was all Harry managed to get out as his eyes roamed every inch of her pale skin. At that moment, Voldemort himself could have barged into the room snogging Dumbledore, and he would not have been able to look away from the blonde in front of him. Instead, his eyes were glued to her fingers as she slipped them under the waistband and pulled the last scrap of fabric from herself.</p><p>Harry stood there stiff as a board, unable to move more than what was necessary to breathe, and even this proved to be difficult. He had never understood the concept of breathtaking until that very moment. His heart was hammering as if he had just narrowly escaped death, his throat dry and tight as if he hadn't drunk anything in days. Yet he did not dare as much as to blink in the fear of missing something. Lavender dangled the red lace in front of him as if he was a matador before she tossed it on top of her other clothes.</p><p>This wasn't the first time he had seen a naked girl, but he quickly realised that there was a huge difference between catching a quick glance of Angelina when she had forgotten her towel after a Quidditch practice and Lavender shamelessly standing less than a foot from him with gleaming blue eyes and a wicked smile which had already burned itself into his memory.</p><p>"I - I don't know - what to do," Harry croaked and got a high laugh as response.</p><p>"Aren't you adorable," Lavender cooed with a dazzling smile. She then stepped forwards and pushed Harry backwards, his calves hitting a bed frame which he had not even noticed being there. Without hesitation, she followed him and sat on his lap, her nose close enough that he could count the faint freckles he had never noticed before.</p><p>Harry could feel the warmth of her body through his own robes, which suddenly felt even more uncomfortable than before. With practically nowhere else to put his hands, he slowly lowered them onto Lavender's back, something which earned him another grin before she did her best to burrow herself into him. Their lips met while Lavender tried to tug off his robe without letting go of him. Quicker than he thought possible, it was gone and she snuggled against his now bare chest. Meanwhile, Harry marvelled once more how soft her skin felt, especially against his own.</p><p>Again he hesitated, they had been snogging before, but the lack of clothes made the whole situation feel very different. There was no mistaking where this journey would end, only when, and Harry was torn between savouring the moment with all its new sensations and getting there quicker. He felt hot, and not just from the heat Lavender seemed to radiate. He wanted - <em>needed</em> - more. <em>This was really happening.</em></p><p>Given that his boxers were the only piece of clothing he had left, Lavender's next question could not have been more ridiculous.</p><p>"You are a bit overdressed, don't you think?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry woke up feeling warm and safe. The lack of any nightmares had ensured that for once, he got to catch up to all the sleep he had been missing during the previous weeks, if not months. And if it weren't visions of Voldemort's atrocities or memories of Sirius keeping him up at night, it was the weight of being seemingly the only one who was concerned by everything that had happened during the year.</p><p>But for once, that madness and misery were the furthest from his mind. Harry felt a warm lull, a content happiness he only remembered from after a victorious Quidditch match, yet the match was scheduled for the next weekend. Since it was still dark outside, all he wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep in the hope of even more rest. However, there was something warm and heavy stopping him from doing so. The strange blanket was surprisingly soft, comfy and moving - At this point, his eyes snapped open.</p><p>The room was only faintly lit by the crescent moon outside, so it took him a moment to make out Lavender draped across his chest. Lavender, who was naked as the day she had been born. Whom he had an arm wrapped around while she traced circles on his chest. He could clearly see the hickey he had left on her collarbone, which, combined with waking up, had caused a certain reaction.</p><p>Lavender smiled at him warmly, and it sent a wave of guilt washing over him as he realised what had happened. She had been Ron's girlfriend until the previous day, and he had not even waited one hour before making a move on her. She had still been dealing with the end of her relationship - And did Ron even know that it was over?</p><p>"I'm sorry that I - "</p><p>"I'm not," Lavender cut in, sounding more serious than he ever remembered her to.</p><p>"What? - But - I took advantage of your - "</p><p>"You did not! Get that into your thick skull. You did more to make me feel loved and wanted in an hour than <em>your friend</em> did in 4 months," Lavender replied calmly, but with firm finality in her voice. "I know that you are trying to be chivalrous, but you did nothing I didn't want you to do. In fact, I would like an encore."</p><p>She blushed at the last sentence, but kept her eyes firmly locked with Harry's. Which caused his heart to skip a beat and then several more when his head caught up with her words.</p><p>Lavender's hair was a complete mess, not one strand where it had been the previous day. Standing off at every imaginable angle, even worse than the scraggly nest on his own head. Harry felt an odd sense of pride at the sight. He had done this, and yet Lavender clung to him, asking for more, her eyes burning with smouldering desire.</p><p>This realisation caused a myriad of feelings Harry had never experienced before. A primal part of him felt an odd sense of pride at both Lavender's state and her desire. There was some guilt towards Ron, but that was balanced out by how he had treated his girlfriend for the past two months. The hint of guilt he had felt towards Lavender, on the other hand, was still there, but so was a little ability to reason.</p><p>She had made it pretty clear that she was not opposed to the thing between them, even if neither of them had a clue what it was yet. However, he felt strangely guilty for not feeling more guilt. He should not feel good for having done something bad. And there was something else, not quite shame, not quite regret, but the sense that the events of the previous afternoon should not have happened, that he should have done things differently - somehow. Yet equally, there was a sense that it had been right, a sense of purpose coming from deep inside his chest.</p><p>But by far the strongest was his desire for her, for more of what they had been doing before, to touch, taste and hold her. To lose himself in her scent, to hear her little moans straight in his ear, to memorise each little twitch as she came undone. Seeing that, the heave of her chest, how she had thrown her head back, how she had pulled him closer and over the edge -</p><p>In the end, it wasn't a contest. His lust won out and he flipped them over, drawing a happy squeal from Lavender before he silenced her with his lips on hers.</p><hr/><p>However, all good things came to an end. Later that day, as he laid in his bed and failed to fall asleep, Harry realised that he was screwed. He could still feel the ghost of Lavender's touch all across his body, how her fingers had dug into his skin, first softly and then with more force. How her lips had felt on his neck and chest. The delightful texture of her hair as it tickled her nose and the softness of her skin, a trace of her perfume which seemed to linger on him even after the long, cold shower he had taken. This was his best friend's former girlfriend, and yet all he could think was how warm she had felt against his chest, how her lips had driven him wild.</p><p>Not having her nearby already felt bad, and this was only the second day of their - affair? Tryst? Relationship? What exactly were they? Friends? Lovers? A pair of lonely souls? Partners? They never talked about what would happen on Monday.</p><p>Was Lavender using him to get over Ron? And if that was the case, should he even mind? After all, she wasn't exactly condemning him to the salt mines. On top of that, a dark part of him was excited at the prospect of getting back at Ron. The payback for mending fences between him and Hermione for five and a half years, for the effort to stay out of their fights and not picking a side, even if one of them had clearly been right. It would be revenge for the tournament, for always being so dismissive of his own family when all Harry had were relatives who -</p><p>Harry shook his head and forced those thoughts down the dark corner they had come from and tried to think of something else. Or someone else, since his mind insisted on replaying the day he spent with Lavender.</p><p>For the past few hours, she had been everything he could think of. And not just the obvious like how glorious she had looked like completely naked, but even completely ridiculous tidbits like that her nose was slightly rounder and smaller than normal, or how soft the transparent hairs on her forearm had been. Which led Harry to the realisation that he did not care why exactly she had chosen him. Even if revenge was part of her motivation, there had to be something else, something beyond spite. The moments when their eyes had locked had felt far too intense for a random shag, and it would not fit the Lavender he knew. The hopeless romantic who had swooned every time Professor Trewlaney as much as mentioned Venus. The girl who had poured her heart into her relationship with Ron, who had been devastated when it was over.</p><p>And now here he was, wanting to feel her in his arms again, to snuggle into her warmth, to run his hands over her body, put his head on her chest and listen to her heartbeat while she played with his hair. Harry was accustomed to loneliness, but it was worse after he had felt a woman's touch, after he knew what he was missing. The hollow ache in his chest was different from when he had seen Ginny with Dean, more mournful rather than lusty. And wasn't it weird that he could think about his two teammates together without the desire to do something to Dean?</p><p>Yes, he was totally screwed, and that after little more than a day. Would it get worse over time should they continue this affair? Did he even dare to find out how bad it would become after a week? A month? A year? Was this love? Lust? Attraction?</p><hr/><p>At least one question was answered the next morning when Lavender sat down next to him at breakfast and pulled him into a sloppy kiss. Which was quite the surprise since he had been intently staring a hole through the Daily Prophet in an attempt to think about anything other than her.</p><p>Of course, that public display ensured that the entire castle knew about them, and even though no one knew what had happened over the weekend, Lavender's display left little doubt that they were rather intimately close with each other. And the grin which seemed to be permanently engraved on his face did not help at all.</p><p>Not that Harry cared at the moment, his mind was blissfully blank once more and the foremost thing he could think of was how nice the kiss felt and about the pleasant warmth which it spread through his chest. Breaking the kiss, she sat down and dropped her head on his shoulder.</p><p>"Good morning", Lavender said, summoned an apple and poured herself a cup of tea. Harry kept wondering how such a simple touch could feel so right and why she made him feel giddy by simply leaning against him.</p><p>"Good morning."</p><p>Of course, since most people had not witnessed how Ron had completely ignored Lavender in favour of Hermione. They were unaware of how that relationship had died in the hospital wing, or rather suffered its coup de grace. This missing detail caused all sorts of wild theories, up to a tale of how he had challenged Ron for Lavender's hand. That duel was said to have ended with Ron in the hospital wing, but his location was the only thing they had managed to get straight.</p><p>Harry had gotten used to the attention years ago and therefore didn't care about what the gossip circle said. After being the heir of Slytherin and a cheating disgrace for Gryffindor, if not all of Hogwarts, the current deluge of rumours was nothing. If anything, it made him feel a bit warm whenever people mentioned him and Lavender. Sure, she could be a bit embarrassing, but everyone had seen that when she and Ron had been a thing. Of course, then Lavender got involved and set the record straight. Harry had no idea what exactly she had said, but the looks they received changed slightly, from mere curiosity to a hint of envy</p><hr/><p>Come Wednesday, the worst had been her complete disregard of decency because she could not keep her hands off him any more than he could. Often, Harry had rolled his eyes whenever Ron had ended up in a public display which belonged into a broom cupboard, or the bedroom. Yet when he was on the receiving end, he had to begrudgingly admit that Ron had been onto something with all the snogging. Perhaps it had been the years with the Dursleys, but Harry did not hesitate to lap up all the love Lavender seemed to radiate. Yet one question loomed darkly at the back of his head, not giving him any peace until he dared to ask it.</p><p>"What is this between us?"</p><p>"We are boyfriend and girlfriend, right? Right?" Lavender said, her blue eyes becoming wide. This was not a question she had expected at all.</p><p>"Yes, of course, I just had to ask," Harry stuttered. Part of him was glad with this outcome, but another part was struggling with the idea behind this relationship, and not just due to Ron. Not only was it sudden, he also could not comprehend what Lavender's angle was beyond getting back at Ron. "But I'm afraid - You make me feel things I could not even imagine, and it all came so quickly, so out of the blue - "</p><p>"It is - unexpected."</p><p>"What if it ends just as fast?" Harry asked, his throat suddenly dry and tight. "I am still half-convinced that this is just a nice dream and I will wake up any minute now."</p><p>"What if it doesn't end? Would you want to - "</p><p>"Yes," Harry cut her off before he could stop himself. It was a stupid idea, hell, he barely knew her and they had not even been together for four days, and yet he had blurted that reply before he could even think about it. "But, I need to understand why."</p><p>"Why what?" asked Lavender, not quite understanding the question.</p><p>"You know," stumbled Harry. "Why me? I mean, look at you, you could have anyone and yet you ch-"</p><p>"Because you were there for me," Lavender said, hastily cutting him off with her finger on his lips, and saw that this explanation wasn't enough. "After my previous relationship ended, well, you saw how I coped with that. I needed to feel - desired - desired for being me. To prove to myself that there was nothing wrong with me. And I hope that you don't take this the wrong way, but you are very easy to read. I can tell that you are genuine, and that makes me feel safe. I can always just be me.."</p><p>"You're perfect just the way you are."</p><p>"Aww, that's sweet of you to say, but - "</p><p>"No! I would not change a single thing about you, no matter if you think that you have three and a half pounds too many on your hips or not. In fact, I would much rather lose myself in your arms than you losing as much as a single hair."</p><p>"Haaarrryyy! Merlin, that was cheesier than - than - a wheel of cheese," Lavender squealed and buried herself in his shirt, shaking with laughter.</p><p>"I don't know what came over me."</p><p>"You know, I have expectations - "</p><p>"Expectations?" Harry echoed, his stomach dropping more dramatically than it did during his last Wronski Feint.</p><p>"Oh don't look at me like that. I've been watching you for the better part of six years now, and the worst I've caught you at was nicking Parvati's Charms essay when Hermione wouldn't give you her own one to copy," Lavender said. Then the mirth disappeared from her eyes. "I just don't want a repeat of what <em>he</em> did. If - if there's an issue, talk to me. That's the only way to fix a problem. Alright?"</p><p>"I am not the best at the whole talking thing, but I will try."</p><p>"That's all I can ask for. I don't think that I could take another - not after - " Lavender trailed off and a single tear ran down her cheek.</p><p>"Hey, I have no intention of leaving, nor do I think that I could just ignore you," Harry pointed out and found himself pulled tightly against his lover - girlfriend?</p><p>"So we are officially a couple now?"</p><p>"Mhhh!" Harry hummed with his eyes closed, pressed against her chest with a pair of arms around him. He was trying not to think, to just savour the moment, how it felt to be held. His cheeks reddened at the thought, and at that moment he was very glad that no one was reading his mind. That would have been embarrassing, to say the least.</p><hr/><p>The next day, Harry and Lavender were curled up on a sofa in the common room, supposedly studying for a Charms quiz. But in reality, Harry mostly played with the strand of blonde hair wrapped around his fingers while looking down at his girlfriend. He had been lost in her blue eyes when Cormac McLaggen violently pulled him out of his thoughts.</p><p>"So I have been thinking strategy Potter, and we really need to step up a notch. It might not be the greatest challenge, but - "</p><p>"What are you talking about?" Harry wanted to know past Lavender's hair, not loosening his grip on her at all. Her lightly panting right into his ear was driving him crazy and apparently she was just as annoyed by the disruption as he was since she quickly took to nibbling and kissing the other side of his neck.</p><p>"The Quidditch match this Sunday!"</p><p>"Yes, so what?"</p><p>"I know Weasley is your friend, but bad luck, he won't be up for the game. Pomfrey says that he'll need weeks. And since I came within one goal of matching him, I will be playing in his stead. I've been trying to talk to you since Saturday, but you and your girlfriend were hard to track down," Cormac explained with a wink. "So I have been thinking, with our beaters next to useless and Thomas unable to score against an empty goal, it really comes down to us two. Well, Weasley ain't bad, but she - "</p><p>Harry knew that he was being petty, but he did not care at this point. The 7th year had been a pain in the ass during tryouts and now he had dared to interrupt his quality time with Lavender to discuss another completely infeasible play he had invented himself, and there would be a price to pay. Especially since Lavender was doing her best to tease him, running her nails through the hair below his navel.</p><p>"Oi Dean, you up for playing Keeper next Sunday?"</p><p>The Muggleborn in question took a moment to disentangle himself from Ginny, and then another to start thinking with the proper head again.</p><p>"Sure, but it's not my best role."</p><p>"No worries, just keep the gap under 150, yeah? I'll do the rest."</p><p>"Alright mate."</p><p>"Looks like you won't be playing the next game," Harry told McLaggen dryly, while the 7th year stared at him open-mouthed.</p><p>"But Thomas didn't even try out as a keeper, and he - "</p><p>"No, but he was a good defensive chaser, so he can pinch in as a keeper."</p><p>"Then you're still short a chaser. Bell is still in St Mungos and - " McLaggen stuttered, his voice rising until the entire common room could hear them, whether they wanted to or not.</p><p>"Katie contributes more to the team from her bed there than you ever could."</p><p>"I see how it is, first Weasley and Weaselette, now Thomas. Who's next on the team, Finnigan? Maybe your girlfriend?"</p><p>"What did you just call me, you dick-headed dimwit?" Ginny shouted through the common room, pushing herself up from Dean's chest and drew her wand.</p><p>"And that's the reason you will never make the team, McLaggen. You could be the best player in the world, you can't work with the rest of the team. It was bad enough when you tried to usurp the tryouts - "</p><p>"But I - "</p><p>Whatever McLaggen had tried to say was cut off by a red flash and he was thrown backwards against an empty bookshelf, where he collapsed like a puppet who had its strings cut. One of his friends came over and picked him up, seemingly with practised ease while casting a sideway glance at Ginny. "Sorry about that, I told him not to butt in on you and your girlfriend."</p><p>"It's fine, I just hope that he learns his lesson."</p><p>"I wouldn't bet on it. Cormac can be a little dense at times."</p><p>"Say - Sean, right? Say Sean, how good are you as a chaser?"</p><p>"Eh - ok I guess."</p><p>"Then welcome to the team. The next training is tomorrow right after Dinner. We'll get you filled in and ready to play."</p><p>Harry was aware that the plan he had just made up was beyond risky. While Ravenclaw had been slaughtered in their match against Hufflepuff, the badgers had three chasers and a keeper who had trained in that role. And judging by Sean's lack of confidence, his experience was probably limited to pickup games with a few friends.</p><p>If Angelina, Alicia and Katie were playing, Harry would not have worried, but he had just staked Gryffindor's chance to win on a bloke he had never seen flying. And he had done so just to spite McLaggen. The rest of the team hardly looked better, the beaters were a catastrophe, only Ginny was on par with her predecessors. Demelza had a lot of potential but needed some playing experience. And Dean was doing alright as a substitute, but he was hardly someone Harry would field if he had a better alternative. Which meant that it came down to him, Cho and the snitch. And after the whole mess with Marietta, he would have no problem following Wood's orders about knocking her from her broom this time.</p><p>Harry shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. True, he probably should not have done everything in his power to get rid of McLaggen, and for a petty reason on top of that. But in the end, the situation had not changed. He still needed to catch the snitch as fast as possible, so business as usual. And if he could snatch a win from Slytherin while the whole team had been outclassed by their Nimbus 2001s, he could certainly do it against Ravenclaw.</p><p>With that inner dilemma resolved, Harry turned back to Lavender and breathed in deeply. He could not stop the grin from spreading across his face. Whoever made magical shampoo was probably short a bit of common sense because who in their right mind would create a banana-split scented hair care product?</p><p>And yet, as much as it may amuse him, one whiff and he was lost in happy memories. Memories where it was just Lavender and him, everything was alright and there was no Voldemort looming over the Isles like a deadly shadow.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Beta'ed by LifeEquals42</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hermione's reaction to the relationship was strange. When she first learned about it, her facial expression telegraphed that she was torn between sending him off to St Mungo's Spell Damage Ward and shoving an antidote for love potions down his throat. She arranged for the latter to happen after their next potion class, with Professor Slughorn taking the possibility very seriously after Romilda Vane and her botched plot. However, as the antidote burned itself through Harry's system, all that changed was that he forgot about a pair of Ravenclaw fifth years who - well, one of them had impressive tits, but that was all he could remember afterwards. Which felt quite bizarre since he could not even recall a face to match the rack.</p>
<p>However, most importantly, his thoughts and feelings towards Lavender did not change beyond the relief from the guarantee that no potion had been involved there, although Harry could have told Hermione that much beforehand since the required timing was impossible and he had neither eaten nor drunk anything before Lavender had seduced him, and getting undressed had done the trick there. And while the thought of her having a fake tooth filled with love potion and dosing him during a kiss was entertaining, such a plot would fit a Bond movie, not the mess which was his life.</p>
<p>Come Sunday, the match against Ravenclaw ended 270:180, which wasn't a great victory, but almost guaranteed them the cup since they had won both games so far and Hufflepuff, their final opponent, had still not recovered from losing Cedric. Especially once Katie returned. Even at her worst, she was leagues better than Sean, and when Ron - <em>Oh, right</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>During the time he spent with Lavender, Harry realised that divination wasn't that bad with the right seer. Not that he suddenly believed in the subject, but Lavender trying to read his hand amounted to a nice massage of it and she looked unbelievably cute when she bit her lower lip trying to find a hidden meaning in the cups of tea they had enjoyed together. Likewise, staring at stars for hours was much more enjoyable with Lavender than in Professor Sinistra's class.</p>
<p>But through all of this, Harry was aware that what he was doing with Lavender was wrong. Perhaps the biggest clue was that he could not even bring himself to visit his best friend in the hospital wing. Or at least not while Ron was awake, and even watching his friend sleep quickly became too much as a wave of guilt washed over him.</p>
<p>Excuses were easy to come by. After all, Ron needed to recover from the poison, and talking to him about the Quidditch game he had to sit out would simply be inconsiderate. The guilt became worse once something in his relationship with Lavender shifted. Harry couldn't quite put his finger on the when or where, but it became less of a mad scramble to screw like a pair of bunnies. He had gotten used to the idea of actually having sex and could now properly enjoy it rather than being a nervous wreck as soon as Lavender pulled off her shirt. Not that the sight didn't leave him awed, but he actually remembered to breathe and his hands no longer shook as if he was frozen to the bone. The same change applied to many other aspects of their relationship as well.</p>
<p>It took Harry a bit of thinking to put his finger on the matter but eventually, he realised that he actually started to believe in their weird relationship rather than expect to wake up and find things as they were before Ron had been poisoned.</p>
<p>During their two weeks together, Lavender had found out that he became putty in her hands if she just held him close while stroking his head and back. And she seemed to relish that power, not that Harry was about to complain. But there had been one dark cloud looming over their relationship. To be fair, Ron would probably have reacted the same way if he had made Ginny his girlfriend, so really, at least for Harry, Ron's ire had been inevitable. Although with Lavender, he had hoped for a "better you than me" reaction. Instead, well it became quite the train wreck.</p>
<p>"So you and Lavender?" Ron asked in a strangely guarded tone the evening he had been released from the hospital wing. And perhaps for the only time, Harry was glad that his girlfriend was not nearby.</p>
<p>"Yes, me and Lavender. Is that a problem?"</p>
<p>"How long has this been going on?"</p>
<p>"Since the day you broke up with her."</p>
<p>"I never broke up with her!"</p>
<p>"You'd wanted to get rid of her since Christmas, and you completely ignored her when she and Hermione came to visit you," Harry pointed out dryly. "And you didn't bat an eye when Lavender stormed out crying."</p>
<p>"Mate, I was high as a kite on the twelve different Potions Pomfrey gave me."</p>
<p>"Yet, <em>mysteriously</em>, you recognised Hermione and smiled at her as if she was a pot of gold."</p>
<p>"And then you left and just happened to come across Lavender, who then jumped your bones?" Ron asked, pointedly ignoring Harry's last comment. "Yeah sure, pull the other one. There's no way you have <em>only</em> been together for a week or two."</p>
<p>"And why is that?"</p>
<p>"You are way, <em>way</em> too familiar and comfortable with each other."</p>
<p>"What are you saying?"</p>
<p>"It's obvious, innit? And with my girlfriend on top of it."</p>
<p>"Have you ever seen me alone with Lavender before - "</p>
<p>"You have your father's cloak and the map, you can be anywhere you want without being seen," Ron pointed out, ignoring the question he had cut off.</p>
<p>"And how often was Lavender not at your side while I was away?"</p>
<p>"You didn't even tell me. I had to find out about you and Lavender from Seamus, who figured that he should tell me because your bed has been empty for a week."</p>
<p>"And Lavender was his date for the Yule Ball, yet he isn't throwing a tantrum right now," Harry pointed out. Seamus had been a bit annoying since he had not stopped making lewd jokes and comments ever since the relationship had become public knowledge. Which was the same reaction he had hoped Ron would have but, well perhaps that had been too much to ask for.</p>
<p>Harry could see where Ron was coming from, that was the worst part. The timing was suspicious, which was why half the school thought that they had duelled for Lavender's hand. And he could not prove that nothing had happened while Ron had been together with Lavender, because such a proof was impossible.</p>
<p>"They weren't together."</p>
<p>"So? What's your point?"</p>
<p>"You aren't supposed to get together with your mate's girlfriend," Ron pointed out Harry felt the need to repeat himself.</p>
<p>"You wanted to get out of that relationship since Christmas at the very least. That was more than two months ago and you were avoiding her since Valentine's Day. Besides, that rule is stupid."</p>
<p>"So you wouldn't mind if I shagged Cho?"</p>
<p>"No, go knock yourself out. I think that the way that relationship went down proves that we were not meant to be. If you think that you have a better chance, go for it. Maybe you won't remind her of Cedric all the time," Harry said, his voice dripping venom. His crush on Cho had died when she chose Marietta over him again and again, but it was still a low blow which brought back painful memories.</p>
<p>"Now you're talking, but we both know that this won't be true if I actually do it."</p>
<p>"Remember our fourth year when my name came out of the bloody Goblet and you assumed that I entered myself to become even more famous? This is you making the same mistake again."</p>
<p>"<em>Me</em> making a mistake? <em>Me</em>? Just admit what <em>you</em> have done," Ron barked and his nose flared as he stared at Harry. Yet there was something else in his friend's voice, something he couldn't put his finger on.</p>
<p>"I can't admit anything because there is nothing to admit."</p>
<p>"This is not about Lavender because I honestly don't care, this is about you betraying my trust."</p>
<p>"I did not -"</p>
<p>"Do I look stupid?"</p>
<p>"I mean, you had Lavender as your girlfriend and then did your best to push her away. All because you didn't like the gift she got you and could not talk to her about <em>Won-Won</em>. And now you are convinced that that the most awesome, hopelessly romantic girl cheated on you. So yeah, pretty stupid."</p>
<p>"You know what? Go fuck yourself, Potter!"</p>
<p>Harry knew that he should just shut up and ignore Ron, or even admit that not talking to him about Lavender had been a mistake. However, at that point he saw red. It would be the coup de grace to their friendship, yet he didn't care.</p>
<p>"Thanks, but I'd rather fuck Lavender."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Ron had been right about one thing though, getting to know Lavender wasn't the easiest task. Not that it was difficult to talk to Lavender, but usually finding time to be alone with each other ended in a scramble to the nearest abandoned classroom, or, when time was not of the essence, the Room of Requirement. There, the time was passed with content silence or sweet nothings, just relishing their togetherness. Not that Harry had thought much about silence, but he found it surprising how pleasant it could be to just lie there, flush against Lavender and play with her hair, trace patterns across her skin or enjoy her doing the same thing to him. That is not to say that they didn't talk to each other, but the time they had together was fiercely contested. However, once March became April and the weather cleared up, they ended up spending more time outside, quite often on long walks although Lavender also seemed to enjoy lazily flying across the grounds and watching the world below. And during one of these walks, Harry learned something amazing.</p>
<p>"You speak French? Really?"</p>
<p>"What do you know about French?" Lavender asked, intrigued by how Harry had suddenly perked up at the mention of that language.</p>
<p>"Well, I spent my summer holidays - at the Burrow and Fleur - you remember Fleur Delacour, right? Beauxbaton champion, clingy little sister - "</p>
<p>"Of course I remember her, she looked drop-dead gorgeous in her uniform. Why do you think half of my wardrobe is light blue?"</p>
<p>"Because you liked the colour?" Harry replied, although the way she asked made it obvious that this was not the right answer.</p>
<p>"No, my favourite colour is Hibiscus, but Fleur was - inspirational. She looked so effortlessly flawless. And since we have a similar hair colour and complexion, I knew what I had to do."</p>
<p>"You chose how to dress because of Fleur?"</p>
<p>"Not because of her, because she showed me something I liked. Well, not me personally, but you get what I mean."</p>
<p>"You were not jealous?"</p>
<p>"Jealous? Please, Fleur was no competition, she wasn't even playing the same game. Any girl who thought so was delusional because competition implies that they had a chance to compete. Fleur could have chosen whichever boy she wanted and there was nothing we could have hoped to do against it."</p>
<p>"Oh I don't know, I've seen a lot of Fleur over the holidays, including her in a rather transparent white bikini, and I would still choose you any day of the week," Harry murmured against her ear and felt proud when he saw her shiver. "And I can shake off Veela allure, but am powerless against your charms."</p>
<p>"Flattery will get you everywhere, but I think you were trying to make a point. Or were you just bragging about having seen Fleur Delacour almost naked?"</p>
<p>"It was really obscene, her bikini hid nothing once it got wet, and it looked like it a tiny bit of white paint on her skin."</p>
<p>"Your point!" Lavender insisted, but she could not hide her smile at the badly-acted trauma in his voice.</p>
<p>"She was there - because she was - engaged to Bill Weasley," Harry said slowly, careful to avoid any mention of Ron. Which was probably accomplished by a weird expression since it was surprisingly difficult to talk about a holiday he spent with Ron without mentioning him. "And occasionally Fleur would whisper something in French to him. Now I have no idea what she actually said, but I'm sure that even a shopping list would sound like a promise of fulfilling your dirtiest fantasy."</p>
<p>"A shopping list? Now that's an idea."</p>
<p>Harry was glad that this time, Lavender laughed rather than sulked at the mention of a Weasley. He sometimes found it difficult to judge how exactly she would react if the conversation was in any way related to Ron. It wasn't like with Cho, who had needed closure with Cedric. Lavender seemed to be somewhere between angry for letting herself be strung along for months and refusing to admit that having her affection thrown back at her face had hurt. Harry had noticed that she was more insecure and not as bubbly as before. Lavender was good at pretending, but sometimes her laughter was just too loud and high, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. And seeing that caused a pang in his chest because he wanted to fix this, for her to stop hurting, but he had no idea where to even begin.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Beta'ed by LifeEquals42.</p>
<p>A bit on the shorter side, but it felt like those scenes fit together thematically while the next one did not. Because as fun as things had been for Harry until this point, it could not last forever.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the third time Hermione had caught them in a broom closet, she gave Harry the prefect patrol schedule and, through gritted teeth, told them to not get caught if they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Her advice gave Harry the idea to use the Room of Requirement, requesting a place where they could not be disturbed. He felt like kicking himself for not thinking of this before. That room could provide a fully furnished bedroom without the need to transfigure it themselves. And it could also add an en-suite bathroom, maybe even a big shower -</p>
<p>Hermione was still grumpy from the shouting match she had with Ron after she tried to mend fences, but at least she had come around to the idea of him and Lavender. And with Lavender no longer hanging on Ron, Hermione stopped seeing her as a rival, which meant she was back to eye-rolling rather than snide comments.</p>
<p>With the Room of Requirement at their disposal, the couple spent most of their weekends there, only emerging for food. Falling asleep with Lavender in his arms had to be one of the best feelings in the world. Yet it also made his own bed feel cold and empty when he had to sleep there.</p>
<p>However, the weekends made up for that. Having a room truly to themselves and without having to fear anyone bursting in made all the difference. It became their sanctuary from the crazy, miserable world outside. And beyond the obvious benefit of having such a room, it also added a different kind of intimacy. They would stay up long past midnight, talking about nothing of consequence with an ease which simply did not exist outside the enchanted walls.</p>
<p>Not that Lavender was ignorant of the war, but she had the ability to be cheerful despite it, a rare trait these days. Luna was a little like that, but she always had an air of sadness around here completely unrelated to Voldemort. The closest companion he could draw was how Tonks had been the previous year, when she had been a bundle of cheer in the drab dreariness of Number 12. But since the summer, she had not been her old self, like everyone else. Everyone was sick with worry, be it Hagrid or Hermione. Everyone but Lavender.</p>
<p>She was his ray of sunshine since her attitude was infectious. No matter how awful his day had been, how much Snape and Filch he had to endure, after a few minutes with her everything was alright again. They would spend hours talking about whatever was the first thing in their minds, and those were some of the best hours of the year.</p>
<p>"But promise that you won't laugh."</p>
<p>"I promise," Harry said earnestly, looking up to Lavender from where his head laid in her chest while she played with his hair. He was now curious what possibly could demand such a request.</p>
<p>"I want to learn how to drive."</p>
<p>"What, really?"</p>
<p>"Two years ago I visited Parvati and Padma was watching how Muggles were driving around some silver stone in weird cars, and it looked fun. And I have seen places in London where you could learn to drive - hey, you promised that you wouldn't laugh."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, I'm not laughing about your ambition, but," Harry managed to get out while snickering before he took a deep breath. "Lavender, there is a big difference between learning how to drive and racing at Silverstone."</p>
<p>"There is?" she asked and the sheer innocence of the question made Harry feel bad for telling her the truth.</p>
<p>"Getting a driver's license is like the class Madam Hooch gives the first years. Being a racing driver is like playing international Quidditch. But there are a thousand times as many people competing for the spot."</p>
<p>"Oh."</p>
<p>"You can still do it, but I think that you need to pass a stricter examination, or at least I would think so. And there are other races which might be more accessible. I know my relatives went to Brands Hatch each year, and there are many more across the country."</p>
<p>"How was that place?"</p>
<p>"I wouldn't know, they never took me along," Harry replied and desperately tried to come up with something to keep the mood light. "Also, I was picturing you in a race overall with a helmet in your hand, the other hoisting some trophy into the air, all sweaty and with champagne dripping down your hair. It'd be hot," Harry whispered and loved the reaction his words caused.</p>
<p>"You really have a one-track mind."</p>
<p>"It's your fault, you know?"</p>
<p>"Is it now?" Lavender wanted to know with a grin, her eyes gleaming in the faint light of the candles the room had provided.</p>
<p>"Oh yes, before us, I was a perfectly respectable student. Too afraid to even talk to a girl. And look at me now! I am completely, utterly besotted with you. It's been less than a month. Three weeks and I can't stop thinking about how your legs felt around my head, how I would like nothing more than to pull you on top of me and just hold you there - If anyone would have told me about that a month ago, I would have told them to see a healer."</p>
<p>"It has been a crazy month," Lavender agreed. "Come on you've got to have some Muggle wish as well."</p>
<p>"I grew up with Muggles."</p>
<p>"So?"</p>
<p>"Alright, if I have one wish, it would be learning how to fly."</p>
<p>"But you know how to fly, you even have the best broom in the world."</p>
<p>"I mean flying planes," Harry clarified and Lavender paused to think about what he said.</p>
<p>"Oh. Why?"</p>
<p>"My relatives, they are not kind people. The nicest thing you could say about them is that they gave me a place to stay. Not a home, not even somewhere I belonged, nothing but shelter. They made it their goal to make me as miserable as possible because - well they are just rotten, I guess."</p>
<p>Harry was mortified by what he had revealed, yet on some level, it felt good to talk about the Dursleys. Lavender did not interrupt him, but she had taken his left hand and squeezed it while stroking his neck with her other hand. It had been his cross to carry for as long as he could teme, but it felt good to share the burden. Harry had a feeling that if anyone would just listen and provide support, it would be her. When the year had begun, they had barely been acquaintances and now he felt like he could trust her with his darkest secrets. She made him feel safe. Not in regards to fighting anyone, but on a personal basis. She had become his anchor, his bastion during the crazy year.</p>
<p>"One evening, my aunt had taken my cousin somewhere, my uncle got drunk and put on a tape of "<em>Battle of Britain</em>." It was the first movie I ever saw, and he spent most of it telling me that those were real men on the screen, each of them ten times more worthy than me. That I had no chance of ever amounting to anything and so on. But I barely listened, my eyes were glued to the telly where the pilots were fighting in the skies above southern England. On the screen, they were fighting for their lives, dying for their country, but to me, it looked like freedom. To roam through the skies, soar with the wind - "</p>
<p>Harry's words failed him when Lavender began to stroke the back of his neck. It was a story he had never told anyone before, little more than an irrelevant triviality compared to what he had to endure there. And yet he was at the brink of tears, looking up at her eyes, icy blue and yet impossibly warm as they seemed to bore right through him. She looked determined and as if she had just solved a particularly difficult puzzle.</p>
<p>"I love you Harry," Lavender said, tears appearing on her cheeks. "Even if your family - no, your <em>relatives</em> - never did. You already have the weight of the world on your shoulders, Harry. You don't need to suffer this too. Come spend the summer with me this year - my parents would love to have you."</p>
<p>"Thank you," Harry whispered against her neck, his voice failing him as he hugged her closer. He tried to burn this moment into his memory, to be a ray of hope in the coming darkness. The softness of her skin, her warmth, the mixture of scent, soap, shampoo and perfume he had quickly associated with her, the gentle touches on his back. "I love you, too."</p>
<p>If things would really get as bad as Professor Dumbledore feared, he would need to cherish that moment, the first time he could remember anyone speaking those words to him.</p>
<p>A few minutes later, Harry traced his finger around Lavender's bellybutton, staring at the goosebumps he left behind and the way her muscles flexed and twitched when he touched a ticklish spot. Truth be told, even a month into the relationship, he couldn't believe it. He had seen her together with Ron more often than he could count, but Ron had never found a deeper connection.</p>
<p>Maybe it was his past with the Dursleys and all the crap he had been through since then, but Harry didn't hesitate when a good thing came his way because it was only a question of time until something bad happened. And Lavender definitely counted as something good. Someone who loved him not for whom he was but despite it.</p>
<p>He could not believe how a simple smile thrown his way could brighten his day, how her not being around her made him miserable. It was frightening how much Lavender influenced him, and from Hermione's grumblings it sounded certainly as if he had the same effect on her. Was this what being in love was all about?</p>
<p>"What were you thinking?"</p>
<p>"About how absolutely amazing you are," Harry replied and smiled as Lavender blushed deeply.</p>
<p>"How do you do that?"</p>
<p>"Do what?"</p>
<p>"The thing with your eyes. One moment they are normal and the next they could burn their way through the mountains outside."</p>
<p>"I do that?"</p>
<p>"All the time. And it's - distracting isn't even the right word because that look alone makes me go weak in the knees. Parvati asked me three times if I wasn't coming down with something. Or pregnant."</p>
<p>"I could say the same. Well, not the pregnant thing but, - you know. I have to make sure to sit in front of you during classes, or I will spend the entire lesson either ogling you and drooling or lost in a daydream."</p>
<p>"We're hopeless, aren't we?" Lavender asked with a big smile and Harry had to agree.</p>
<p>"Completely."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Eventually, Harry could not take Dumbledore's disappointed glances anymore and went for the phial of Felix Felicis. It was that or trying the old professor down and seeing if he would talk with a knife pressing into his skin. For the first minute, he felt very little, but slowly a pleasant buzz settled in and he had a hunch what he ought to do, which had him come across Professor Slughorn a little while later. They ended up at the funeral of Aragog, followed by an impromptu memorial service in Hagrid's hut where his oldest friend dug out an expensive-looking bottle of amber spirits.</p>
<p>Hagrid outsized and, more importantly, out-massed them both, but apparently Slughorn had much experience in the art of drinking he could fall back on. Harry matched them glass for glass until the bottle was empty and learned two important lessons that night. The luck potion made the drinker immune to the effects of alcohol if the situation required it, even if the Firewhiskey still burned while drinking it. A bit later he also learned that having sex while under its influence was truly mind-blowing experience, and judging by the way Lavender clung to him afterwards and the countless hickeys he found all over his body the next morning, she seemed to share his opinion. It certainly added credence to the claim that Felix Felicis led to perfect, unforgettable days.</p>
<p>Luckily, the first class of the next day was Potions and Professor Slughorn was understanding when he came across Harry wolfing down lunch. With a jovial pat on the back, he offered a hangover potion and took not a single point. Either the potion still showed its aftereffects or the old teacher knew what to expect from an evening drinking with a half-giant. At this point, Harry remembered that he still had the memory for Professor Dumbledore in his pocket.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"How's the nose?"</p>
<p>"Jesus Tonks, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"</p>
<p>"What's wrong with your nose?" Lavender asked, her mind still trying to catch up with the reason why her boyfriend had lept a yard backwards.</p>
<p>"Nothing!"</p>
<p>"This time."</p>
<p>"Uhm - Lavender, meet Tonks - the - niece of my godfather, I think. Tonks, my girlfriend Lavender," Harry said lamely.</p>
<p>"You never mentioned that you knew a metamorphmagus! They are sooo awesome!"</p>
<p>"Sorry? Is that something special? Something I should brag about?"</p>
<p>"<em>That</em> has a name, even if you are only allowed to use part of it. And she, in her humble opinion, is something special," Tonks replied and struck a pose in the middle of the muddy road.</p>
<p>"And humble too," Harry quipped.</p>
<p>"What gave me away?"</p>
<p>"Your hair randomly grew three inches while your nose curved upwards. And since there was no flicker like from a glamour - "</p>
<p>"Oh, right. I keep forgetting that it does that even if I'm stuck with this awful brown colour."</p>
<p>"It would look nice with a few highlights," Lavender offered.</p>
<p>"See, that's the part which isn't working. I used to switch through the whole rainbow on a whim. And now - nothing."</p>
<p>"Well, if you want the colour, there are all kinds of foam dyes and potions which last until you wash them out. Doesn't take more than five minutes to apply, that's how I had strands for most of last year. There are also brands which glow in the dark or in the moonlight if you want something silly."</p>
<p>"I like her," Tonks admitted with a smile tugging at her lips. "You should keep this one!"</p>
<p>"I try," Harry pointed out and got a beaming smile from Lavender.</p>
<p>"You know, as much as I would love to swap hair care tips, shouldn't you two be at Hogwarts? Unless the old Battleaxe introduced Hogsmeade Thursday-Afternoons, in which case, feel free to continue."</p>
<p>"Well, you see - "</p>
<p>"Thought so. How about we get something to eat and then we can talk about that?"</p>
<p>"Good, I could use an outsider's perspective to talk about <em>the stuff</em> Dumbledore is up to. Well, you are not an outsider, but you get what I mean."</p>
<p>"What about her?" Tonks wanted to know with a nod towards Lavender. "Nothing against you, but we are part of a certain - <em>club</em> - who keeps secrets."</p>
<p>"Do you mean Professor Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix?"</p>
<p>"Uhm - "</p>
<p>"What? Come on, you're hardly meeting the headmaster for crochet lessons. Besides, after the events at the Ministry, everyone knows that Professor Dumbledore has his own band of wizards," Lavender said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A few minutes later, they were all sitting in a booth in the Three Broomsticks and Harry shot Lavender an apologetic look. This was not how he had planned this outing. But she merely smiled at him and dropped her head on his shoulder and watched Tonks as the older woman cast an array of privacy spells.</p>
<p>"So, what business do you want to discuss? Mind you - the walls have ears, so don't talk about big secrets."</p>
<p>"Well - Professor Dumbledore has given me a task - for when I leave Hogwarts. Or maybe next year already. But that task - I don't think that I can do it alone," Harry said, trying to explain his worries about the Horcruxes without even mentioning what they were about.</p>
<p>"Do you want me to train you? I could do that, you know? I'm stuck in this place anyway, which has killed what little of my social life was still there after joining <em>the club</em>."</p>
<p>"That would be great, but I was thinking that maybe if you and a few others like Moody would also be in on that task, it would be easier. Professor Dumbledore shared a few of his own thoughts about the task, but I don't even know where to begin."</p>
<p>"Mad-Eye isn't the youngest anymore, but I can see why you would like to have him along. I can ask around the Order a bit, but without knowing what you are up to it's going to be difficult to find people who would join your quest."</p>
<p>"Talk to Professor Dumbledore, he can tell you more and explain it better."</p>
<p>"I will do that," Tonks confirmed and nodded towards Lavender. "Have you thought about your Lady here?"</p>
<p>"What do you mean?"</p>
<p>"Well, if you have to do some mission, <em>he</em> might try to use her as leverage."</p>
<p>"I have considered it, but can't think of an answer. Does that make me a bad boyfriend?"</p>
<p>"Harry, why do you think that I expect you to do what not even Dumbledore can do?" Lavender asked and searched his eyes for an answer.</p>
<p>"Well - " he replied lamely, failing to find a good answer. But that did not stop him from feeling bad that he could not do anything to protect Lavender. That he was making her a target just by being with her.</p>
<p>"What were your ideas?" Tonks wanted to know.</p>
<p>"Well, I thought about pretending to break up, but no one would believe that anyway. Not after the entire school has seen us happily together for more than a month. And I don't think that I could even do that," Harry said and squeezed Lavender to his side. "The other idea was to just send her away, but that wouldn't work either."</p>
<p>"Why?"</p>
<p>"Well, what's stopping Voldemort from following her?"</p>
<p>"The Accord of Saint-Quentin - You know, after the Şolomanţă Crisis," Tonks explained, but only drew blank looks.</p>
<p>"Solo-manta?"</p>
<p>"Close enough. It was a dark magic school in the 1880s which took over a good chunk of the Balkans. Their magic wasn't as impressive as Grindelwald or <em>his</em>, but they were really good at taking over the governments in that area and turning them against each other. There were so many secrecy violations that the ICW gave up on modifying Muggle memories and turned it into a folklore tale. Even inspired that <em>Dracula</em> book."</p>
<p>"That doesn't sound like something which would stop Voldemort," Harry pointed out.</p>
<p>"I was getting there. Afterwards, the ICW got together and tried to make sure that there would not be a repeat. Of course, the ICW was completely useless, but after <em>that</em> most of the rulers from Europe signed their own accord. Basically, don't take your conflicts abroad, or the others will sort you out."</p>
<p>"How strong is that accord?"</p>
<p>"It ended Grindelwald. Well, not personally, but after he violated Swedish neutrality in Finland, the Accord came down on him hard. By the time Dumbledore defeated him, most of his henchmen were dead or in chains."</p>
<p>"How do you know all of that? Binns certainly didn't teach it, or at least not when I was awake."</p>
<p>"Binns doesn't teach you anything which isn't related to goblins. Mum was raised with that kind of stuff, and the Accords were also beaten into us at the Academy. Wouldn't do to accidentally cause an invasion because you chased a Death Eater across the Channel on your broom. Even Dumbledore told us to stay in Britain because he doesn't want to cause an invasion just because a member of our <em>club</em> decided to hide abroad."</p>
<p>"What about Fleur?"</p>
<p>"Well, Frenchy can visit her family just fine, but she mustn't go there, do some <em>Club</em> business here and then go back. I hope you aren't planning to do anything like that!"</p>
<p>"No, nothing like that, but you gave me something to think about," Harry replied as a plan began to form in his head. "Say Tonks, did you know my parents?"</p>
<p>"Uhm - not well," she said slowly, taken aback by the sudden change of topic. "I met them once or twice, but I was six or seven back then. Mum was close to Sirius after he ran away, but not so much to your father. I think she was a distant niece of him - I'm pretty sure that some Black married a Potter around the turn of the century, but you know how pureblood family trees are."</p>
<p>"Sirius showed me the Black one."</p>
<p>"Ah, the one which is disturbingly circular. Did he show you your father?"</p>
<p>"My dad is on the tapestry?"</p>
<p>"His paternal grandmother was a Black, or maybe maternal grandmother - I'm pretty sure it was somewhere around all the Parkinsons. Sirius showed me the connection and - well - reminisced about how the Potters were his family, even if their link by blood was more than a little faint."</p>
<p>"I really wished that I could have spent more time with Sirius - or that he wasn't - " Harry's voice failed him. Lavender saw right through his attempt of hiding that by sipping his drink and squeezed his hand.</p>
<p>"You have to remember the good, otherwise you will end up a mess like me."</p>
<p>"I - I don't think that I can think like this. There's just too little good in my memories. Sirius always looked haunted, as if dementors were after him, even at Grimmauld."</p>
<p>"You got to spend a summer with him. I would have liked that, but between my awful hours in the office and the Order duties, I did little but sleep in my free time."</p>
<p>"Yes, but - I didn't get much time with Sirius. There was always some cleaning to do, or my friends wanted something. It wasn't intentional or anything - but it still sucked."</p>
<p>"What about Remus?" Tonks asked, but her nonchalance seemed a bit forced, and her eyes had an eager glint that he loathed to stub out.</p>
<p>"Nothing really. I didn't even know that he existed until he came here to teach, and he only admitted that he knew my parents after months. He told me a few anecdotes, but not really a whole lot about them as people."</p>
<p>"That doesn't sound right. They were his best friends after all."</p>
<p>"I had hoped for more as well after he told me that they had been close. But nothing."</p>
<p>"But, he talks about you a lot. He makes it sound as if you were close."</p>
<p>"Not really. He was my favourite defence professor, but other than that - it's as if he was afraid to get any closer. As if by being near me he could turn me, even on the new moon."</p>
<p>"I can see where he is coming from," said Tonks. "But - "</p>
<p>"Yeah, but. When I found out that a teacher was friends, I thought that he would tell me all about them. And there were a few stories, just not - "</p>
<p>"It's okay to miss them," Lavender said soothingly and put an arm across Harry's back, yet his reply was a dry, humourless laugh.</p>
<p>"That's the thing - I can't even miss them since the only memory I have of them is from dementors. I miss the thought of having parents - but - I - I can't miss them."</p>
<p>"Do you want me to leave you two alone?" Tonks asked after a few moments of silence, her discomfort clearly written across her face. Harry tore his eyes away from Lavender's and focused back on the Auror.</p>
<p>"Sorry, what did you say?"</p>
<p>"Look, you two clearly snuck out to enjoy an evening together. I can leave if you'd like - "</p>
<p>"No, I've been meaning to talk to you all summer, but - "</p>
<p>"Visiting the Burrow was weird. Once I figured out that Molly was trying to set me up with Bill, I tried to avoid being there longer than I had to."</p>
<p>"Staying there was weird too. Everyone was hostile towards Fleur - "</p>
<p>"I get where Molly was coming from, Frenchy's very - well - French, but damn if she didn't have the most spankable ass I've ever seen. I don't know how anyone is supposed to top that."</p>
<p>"Couldn't you - "</p>
<p>"Well, in theory. But it would be weird - "</p>
<p>"Weird?" Lavender echoed. "Wouldn't it just be part of you?"</p>
<p>"Uhm - kinda. I'm not exactly sure how to explain it for someone without the ability - It's based on how I see myself. Within that, I can change freely. I can also shift beyond that, but it doesn't feel comfortable to stay like that. For the big ass, imagine a feeling like you are sitting on a very soft pillow, but beneath your skin," Tonks said and repeated the sentence in her mind, shaking her head at its absurdity. "So what did you want to talk about?"</p>
<p>"What your job is like. I've been thinking about becoming an Auror, but I honestly don't know a lot about them. Just that they catch dark wizards."</p>
<p>"There's a lot more to it. Frankly, even Death Eaters are pretty rare all things considered."</p>
<p>"But - "</p>
<p>"I know it sounds strange, but for every Death Eater attack you have ten people getting mugged or cursed by others. The Dark Lord and his followers are a big threat, but not the root of all evil. For example, last week there was a case down in Crewe. Two men were caught attacking a muggleborn woman running a trinket shop because she refused to pay for their '<em>protection services'</em>."</p>
<p>Lavender's face went pale and Harry shook his head in disgust. Tonks looked between them - she had a pretty good idea of what they were imagining.</p>
<p>Following that, Tonks talked about her work, both at the Ministry and at her Hogsmeade posting. As time passed, it became less about requirements and formalities but shifted towards various anecdotes from the office and Auror academy. In return, Harry told her about his third year and how Sirius had been trying to "kill" him, mindful to mention Ron as little as possible. When he and Lavender left hours later, Tonks was looking at her empty glass contemplatively, and Harry had the impression that Voldemort was not the only thing she was mulling about.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The school year was almost over when Hermione tracked him down one evening with a familiar sheet of parchment in her hand. And she seemed not too pleased.</p>
<p>"Look, I've done as you've asked, and I did not see Malfoy put one toe out of line. In fact, I did not see him do anything suspicious other than trying to get in the Room of Requirement."</p>
<p>"Trying?"</p>
<p>"Well, out of twenty-three times I saw him on the 7th floor, I could not find you or Lavender in 21 of those cases. Which - well - I don't think I have to spell this out for you," Hermione said pointedly, although her cheeks were a bit rosy.</p>
<p>"So we stopped Malfoy from getting into the Room of Requirement a couple of times, so what?"</p>
<p>"Those were only what I saw. You have been basically living in that Room. And <em>some</em> of us have a life outside obsessing about Lavender and Malfoy."</p>
<p>"Hey, I'm not obsessed about myself or that idiot. I just can't stop thinking about Harry, which is completely different," Lavender pointed out and received a death glare in return.</p>
<p>"I have witnessed enough of your obsession for ten lifetimes, especially since your silencing charms are not nearly as good as you think them to be," Hermione grumbled darkly. "And I have learned things about my best friend which I really did not need to know."</p>
<p>"We need to get you a boyfriend, girl, you need to loosen up."</p>
<p>Harry did not dare to repeat what Lavender said to Hermione's face, but he definitely agreed with the sentiment. Getting together with Lavender had dramatically improved his mood and cut down the time he spent feeling sorry for himself. And judging by the way Hermione has been acting since the last summer holidays, she could definitely use some unwinding.</p>
<p>But there was more than that. It was not just the sex, there was something profoundly moving about loving someone and being loved. Feeling Lavender's touch was like stepping out of a howling blizzard into a cosy little cabin, silent save the smouldering hearth. Be it an innocent hug or her holding him down while she rode him, it touched something inside him, something he had not known existed even a few months ago.</p>
<p>There was a pregnant pause and then Hermione continued, her tone dripping hostility.</p>
<p>"We aren't discussing that."</p>
<p>"But it's true!"</p>
<p>"Please! This year has been a nightmare and I just - I want it to be finally over, to go home and completely forget about it."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lupin is a difficult character to write about. I won't pretend that I like him, but what always struck me as weird was that he acted as if he and Harry had a deep bond when there was none. After the third book, you can count their interactions on one hand, yet Harry was still made Teddy's godfather.</p>
<p>And "spankable ass" is a How I met your Mother reference. It's a shame I couldn't fit the related quote "Her ass looks better than my face" in here as well.</p>
<p>Unless things change radically, there will be one more chapter in this story. It was originally supposed to be only three chapters long...</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Beta'ed by LifeEquals42.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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